Unwanted teen pregnancies continue apace. Even though the obvious alternative, condoms, exist and seems readily available at every convenience store.

Who is to blame?

It appears that one barrier to the right barrier is simple reticence. In other words, it’s virtually impossible for a young lady of about sixteen to ask anyone where the condoms are.

And what are we to do? Trust the boyz to men in our lives to obtain condoms?

Imagine me snorting here.

I’ve decided not to bore or horrify you with my tales of men who were supposed to bring the condoms. Suffice to say that I was on birth control pills for three years. And that might be the reason I had to get a liver transplant.

So take my word for this. It would be naive of us to just tell boys and girls to suck it up and ask for the condoms.

If you’re having trouble relating to a teen that can’t ask for the condoms, try remembering back to the time when you needed to buy the underage beer for the unpermitted party.

Or, if you never did that, think back to the time you had to tell your father that you got a D in physics. Or a C or B, depending on your parent’s expectations.

Did you hide your report card? Forge a signature? Offer free babysitting services for six months?

Teenagers are secretive. And they have no context for traumatic life events just because they haven’t lived that long.

So, yes, asking for condoms is the end of the world.

Even young people with good relationships with their parents may not want those parents to know they are having sex.

Your children know exactly who you are under that liberal, rational veneer. And they know, perhaps better than you do, that you would prefer they didn’t have sex until they are thirty. They don’t want to deal with all your feelings on top of their own.

So what do we do?

A change in strategy is called for.

Condom buying needs to be normalized in an effective and immediate way. Here is what I propose. Wal-Mart and Target step up to the plate and offer three dollars off the purchase of any game or gaming device when purchased with a condom package. And put the condoms next to the games to make this choice easier. Even if a young person is not having sex at the moment, he/she will now have a condom when that moment does arrive.

This is a public health issue, not a religious or moral issue.

Why is this an animal rights issue?

In brief, unwanted humans make terrible humans. Overpopulation is a leading cause of wildlife destruction via habitat destruction and direct murder. Gorillas are killed simply for their hands which are turned into novelty ashtrays. Parrots are seized as chicks and sold for pets by people who can’t find or create any other opportunities. In third world countries, apes are killed for food. People are the problem. Let’s make fewer of them.